I don’t want to fly.

Today I don’t feel like going against the wind or creating waves against the oceans. I don’t want to move the mountains or fight the sunlight to pour out from the clouds.

Today, I want to let it be. I want to go wherever the winds take me in it’s own pace and rhythm. I want to follow the clouds, directionless and untamed. I want to sit by the ocean and watch the still water, calm and peaceful creating no ripples or wave on

it’s own.
Today I want to lie on the grass and watch the birds fly far and above but don’t have the desire to fly with them.

Because it feels okay to be on the ground today. Not everyday do we have to be at our productive best. On some days its okay to be laid back. To be zoned out.

It’s okay to be on the ground and not wanting to fly. It’s okay to be on our own and not wanting to cry.

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To love or not to love?

Do you recall a time when life wasn’t this bad an affair, difficult to love, and even harder not to?
I didn’t until today.
I forgot that time when moments were light hearted, not drowned in ecstasy or buried in blue, light hearted as a midnight breeze.
I didn’t see to recollect the times where being in that moment mattered more than being anywhere.
I forgot until today when a few moments conspired to happen to remind me to forgive, not to forget and live.
Those not so everyday moments, way too intense to record in words yet simple enough a gesture.
Those everyday moments when you have to pause a little in company of stained melodies.
Tonight I shall write these lines, only these lines.

Wishful Thinking

Wistful thinking and wishful thinking, different only by a letter but a magnitude of possibilities.
It’s all about the perspective: either you live a life of ‘could-have-beens’ and ‘what-ifs’ or ‘so-whats’ and ‘why-nots’.
Most of us arrive late at the latter. It’s not easy to let go of one’s conscience.
But the question is, will you cross the river or not?
Will you burn the bridge or not?
While at the end of the day, when the world resorts to slumber and you resort to soliloquy at 2 am, would you rather entertain the what-ifs or grin over the why-nots?

Departures

I love departures more than arrivals. There is an exhilarating sense of adrenaline pumping through your veins, as you trail towards land unknown.
That heightened sense of new adventure every day makes you addicted to it. And then when you finally get home one fine evening, you’ll want to fly again.

Overthinking

I suffer from the common problem of overthinking. 

I dwell on people and places longer than others.

Overthinking is not always about spending time on things though. Mostly it’s recreationary. My brain must be wired in manners where it imitates the multiplication of thoughts like a virus.

Simple actions complicate themselves. Simple moments become trailing stories.

I swear it’s almost involuntary. I never have to tell myself to over-think things. I have already reached multiple strings of thought in milliseconds and ideas have formed and changed and concluded themselves without any deliberation.

People ask ‘Why do you think so much’ but it is as good as asking the sun why it shines.

You can’t do that, can you?

13 Reasons Why

You have probably heard about the latest Netflix series 13 Reasons Why and it’s likely you’ve already begun watching or you read the book by Jay Asher many years ago.

I know many people think that this show does more harm than good as the series glamorizes suicide in a way. That it could lead other’s to aspire to recreate what the main character, Hannah Baker, does to the 13 people that drove her to ultimately take her own life. She does this by recording tapes that explain in depth what each person has done to her and why it influenced her to do what she did.

However, it’s clear throughout the show that all of these individuals that must listen to the tapes are affected in different ways, and most don’t believe that they are even somewhat responsible even after listening to all 13 tapes. I don’t feel that this was glamorous. Who are we to judge someone else’s mental health? Yes, it is ultimately their choice to take their own life, but does that imply that it’s okay to disregard everything else that lead up to it happening?

13 REASONS WHY DEMONSTRATES THAT COLLECTIVELY, WE ARE ALL A PRODUCT OF SOCIETAL ISSUES THAT CAN INTENSIFY MENTAL ILLNESSES.

I am not arguing that 13 reasons why addresses these common issues among teenagers correctly or not. I am naturally sharing my impressions and thoughts after finishing the series.

Regardless of your opinion regarding the show 13 Reasons Why, I believe that there is a lot of things we can all learn from the story line and its message for viewers of all ages.(Note, if you haven’t finished the series what I am talking about could spoil things for you! But you should definitely come back and read once you are finished, I am sure it won’t take you too long.

JUST HOW MUCH OUR ACTIONS AND WORDS CAN AFFECT OTHERS

Just because someone else’s words don’t have an effect on you, it doesn’t mean your words and actions have no impact on them; in negative and positive ways. Maybe someone’s comments towards you have no effect on you, and you can brush it off, yet there is a lot of people who can’t do that.

EVEN WHEN WE THINK WE KNOW SOMEONE AND WHAT’S GOING ON IN THEIR LIFE, WE DON’T

No matter how badly we wish to understand the people we love and to have the ability to recognize when something is wrong, it is just not always realistic. Many of us have learned how to hide and mask pain from other’s; even the people we are the closest to.

WE SHOULD REMEMBER THAT SOMETIMES IT IS HARD FOR OTHER’S TO UNDERSTAND WHAT WE ARE GOING THROUGH, BUT IT DOESN’T MEAN WE ARE UNLOVED

It’s really hard for parents to understand what is going through their child’s mind. It’s even hard to know how your best friend is feeling on the inside. With that being said, it’s important to remember when you are hurting that there are people close to you who most likely care even though you think they don’t.

THE POWER OF A SINGLE CONVERSATION

13 Reasons Why demonstrates the power of one conversation. It shows just how much power one moment holds and just how much a single conversation can have an impact on someone.

THE SCENES WE ALL WANTED TO LOOK AWAY FROM, WERE SCENES WE UNQUESTIONABLY CAN LEARN FROM

These scenes include displaying the brutality of rape and suicide graphically and what the effects of it look like. These scenes were in the show because they are relevant and far too common in high school and college today. I feel that it was 100 percent necessary to supply viewers with a real look at what this pain looks like to the person as well as the people around them.

  • HANNAH’S SUICIDE SCENE

Yes, it was very graphic and flat out brutal; but how could you accurately portray suicide in any other way? Personally, I think this scene was necessary to reveal what suicide actually looks like and why more ought to be done to prevent this scene from occurring again and again. Suicide is brutal, and there are many heartbreaking stories just like this one.

  • HANNAH’S PARENTS THROUGHOUT THE SHOW

Hannah’s parents finding her after she committed suicide actually could be a message to young people that are contemplating taking their own life through showing them what it can and will do to their loved ones.

 

EVEN IF WE THINK OUR ACTIONS ARE HARMLESS, IT DOESN’T MEAN THEY ARE

If something doesn’t hurt your feelings or it doesn’t harm you in any way it doesn’t mean that everyone else will react to it in the same way.

WE DON’T ALWAYS GET A SECOND CHANCE TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT WITH SOMEONE, SOMETIMES THINGS ARE PERMANENT

We shouldn’t wait until it’s too late and we are stuck contemplating ways we could’ve been a nicer person, or we could’ve sought to understand what someone else was going through as most the time we aren’t given this luxury, just like the individuals in this series. Each person on the tapes wasn’t necessarily a bad person, but they did do things that were bad without thinking it through before it was too late.

Which brings me to the next reason..

“BAD PEOPLE” AREN’T THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO DO BAD THINGS

Everyone has their own opinion on what makes a person good or bad. Generally speaking, I think there are good people who make mistakes and do horrible things a lot of the time without having the intention of hurting someone as bad as they end up doing. What matters is what people learn and genuinely gain during these experiences.

This is one of the most important aspects of the show I think everyone can learn from,

JUST BECAUSE OUR INTENTIONS ARE GOOD, IT DOESN’T MEAN OUR ACTIONS STILL CANT’ BE WRONG AND HURTFUL.

Having good intentions isn’t enough. When you have intentions of doing your homework by 8:00 P.M. and you don’t do it, it means you failed that task, and we all understand that. Therefore, if your intentions are to be a good person and you end up hurting someone through your words and actions, regardless of your intentions, you should recognize your mistakes. Learn from these mistakes, move forward, and grow from them; just like we would do in the homework scenario.

 

IT’S OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP

Asking for help isn’t a bad thing. Far too often people would rather struggle alone then seek out help for whatever it is they are dealing with, but this causes added problems for what could’ve been a good person, (for example; Justin being abused by his mother’s boyfriends which ultimately led him to deeper issues that hurt other people)

MORE OF US SHOULD BE WILLING TO HELP

It’s hard to get individuals who are hurting to start asking for help more when there aren’t a lot of people ready and willing to assist them in the first place.


Overall, 13 Reasons Why was an extremely real show focused on real issues that everyone can relate or know’s someone else that can relate to in one way or another. Nobody said the show was going to address every single issue teenagers are facing throughout high school in the best way possible but I believe it addresses many important issues.

Thus, 13 Reasons Why can help teach a life lesson to everyone in a small or huge way concerning the way we treat others. We all should want to continuously become better people and think of others more, we never know when we are saving someone. 

At the end of the day, we are all humans. We are allowed to make mistakes.

What’s important is what we gain from our experiences and how we grow into better person be

cause of them.

Cozy Café

And then there are these evenings when you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but here; in a cosy cafe, sipping on a mug of premium dark hot chocolate, savouring on the lip-smacking Italian crepe, enjoying your favourite company, soaking in the vibrant colours, gazing at the gentle souls around, thinking about the most random things that pops in your mind, overwhelmed by your thoughts.


Relishing the lingering spell of Spring, the crisps mornings, the warm sunny afternoons, the melodramatic evenings and the fuzzy nights. Fancying the February hues.

This, my friend, is the crux of tranquility.

Ashes

​With every puff that she drew in deep, she remembered his scent,

In every thing of smoke that emenated from her, she envisioned him,

With each ash that struck the ground, she tried in vain, to forget him,

Each time the matches came to life, she remembered the spirit that he annihilated,

For every light that he eradicated, the ashes kept piling up,

As she tried to escape through the books, she drowned in his words,

With every turn of the page, she took an irrevocable fall,

With every hope that dwindled, she died a little,

The promises forever-once a bliss, now fatal,

As time ceased to move, she missed him, for the millionth time,

She willed his heart to unlove, for a moment at least, if not forever,

He was her alchemy, now her forever entangled mess.

Airport Goodbyes

​What do I do if I long to hold them for one more time and they are already on the other side of the door where I’m not allowed to step. How do I leave them finger by finger and watch them walk in, to another place, another city, another country leaving me alone, all alone?

They will be gone, to experience a sense of unfamiliarity, a life of disparity, a life full of new possibilities.

That one last glimpse. That one last hug. That one last kiss. That one last bye.

We try to hold on to that moment with everything that we got.

We try our best to stop it from slipping away.

But we can’t.
Airport goodbyes.
Always taking away a part of me.

Second Chances

There is something absolutely poignant about second chances. The great deal of courage that is required to cast all your aversions behind and take a chance again, the strength you gather to forgive, the audacity you create to love again,the nerve you build to give it all once again.

You have been damaged. You have been stained, yet, and yet you risk it all once again. You give them the power to destroy you once again because you know that human connections are rare and precious and sometimes it is worth all the risk.

You give it all that you have. You let the lump in your throat stay. You jump deeper into the well, hoping, just hoping that this time around there is someone to catch you. 

Second chances. They are like a wounded bird. Hurt and damaged but still wanting to fly.